It is funny to me that no matter how old we get, or how long we’ve been out of “the game” that we still act like awkward, giggly, anxious pre-teens when we get the opportunity to meet a “prospective” new love.
I am almost 37 years old. I have been divorced for 4 years and have had no real luck with the “dating scene.” Trust me… NO LUCK. ☺
I have a great job, a nice home, drive a pretty nice vehicle, pay my own bills, take care of my own yard, and am raising my little boy all by myself. I have wonderful friends, and a great church. I have a full, busy life. Yet, I still have that age-old feeling of some sort of emptiness without a man in my life.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve tried dating over the past few years. I’ve made a couple of friends out of the experience. But that is it. No bells or whistles or fireworks. Nothing really to do cartwheels over. I basically resolved myself to just be alone & be ok with it. I don’t go to singles spots, or bars. I work, go to church, take my son to school, and stay home. Life is pretty simple and routine.
Then, a friend wants to introduce me to a “good guy”. With many apprehensions and qualms, I do it. I go to meet him. And you know what? He is not a toad. He is not a demon-possessed evil being sent to destroy me (which has kinda been how I’ve viewed men most recently.) ☺ He’s quite handsome, and seems to have his ducks in a row. I mean we ALL have some wrinkled up issues that need to be ironed out. I’m sure he is no exception.
But, here’s what is funny about it all: I’m smiling. Uncontrollably, smiling. I’m anxious to paint my nails, shave my legs, try on 15 outfits, and find just the right lip-gloss, just to have lunch with him. He’s called me a few times, and I find myself almost “giggling” when the phone rings. Isn’t that hilarious?
Now, I don’t know if ANYTHING will develop out of this or not. And I’m ok if it does or if it doesn’t. I’ve just realized, we ALL want to feel loved, desired, attractive, and accepted. No matter our age. No matter our situation. No matter our expanding waistbands or newly found gray hairs. We as women, or maybe just as human beings, have an internal, natural, instinctive “need” to be with a mate. It has somehow made me feel like “more of a woman.” It has somehow made me feel more alive. Just to have someone that I am equally attracted to, say, “I think you are pretty.” It feels really nice. We’ll soon see if this could be the beginning of a new journey or not. But even if it was just one step, and that’s as far as it goes. It’s been a nice trip. ☺
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